self evident

studying for my epa cert., looking to get a decent raise should i pass!  brothers and sisters…pray for me.  this jan. i’m enrolling in the hvac prog., and things are looking okay.  i got an award at work, given to me by my property manager…the guys give my shit over it…i love those guys.  work is always ahead of the second i get caught up, and i need a new pair of shoes.  winters coming, new tires would be great….and i owe my dad over 500 bucks in vehicle repairs.  never ahead, always behind…my curse-ed life.  thank god for dad.  thank god for my vehcile, i love them more than anything in this world.  saw dad dec. 1st for his birthday, it was a good day…he showed me some neat stuff, then gave me a hug and said he loved me.  told me he knew i was thinking of him on his birthday….and that he checked the messages all day to see if i had called yet, to say happy birthday.  that’s been my hip life so far these past months….

what happened after that?  has left me a shaking hungerless bottom feed.  not ashamed so much of myself, as dissapointed that i believed in something so faithfully.  to be at the sharpest point of let down.  less a thought of me in your mind, is the fire on the fumes ive left to run on.